Sereendipity
Jeudi 6 octobre 2011 à 20:21
Daily report : Seven days, that is to say enough to aflame me in a few words and to bring me down the deepest you could ever do in the meantime.
Samedi 1er octobre 2011 à 23:28
RAS LE BOL.
Comment ça se passe, les astres ou jenesaisquelleautreforcesupérieure se sont mis d'accord pour que je passe constamment de l'euphorie à la nostalgie ? Le retour à la réalité se fait de plus en plus difficile.. Après Brighton, aka meilleurestroissemainesdemavie, le retour du voyage d'inté se fait insoutenable. Retrouver ces sensations, découvrir et apprendre à connaître de nouvelles personnes dans un cadre inhabituel, coupure de routine; tout ça pour quoi ? Pour que le réveil soit d'autant plus brutal.
Illustration HS mais..FRED quoi ♥
Vendredi 23 septembre 2011 à 20:19
I wouldn't wish that even to my worst ennemy. Have you ever feel like you're not going to be happy again ? Being in a situation that is so helpless that you cannot ever remember the last time you laugh sincerely (cause from now, it's just a heap of lies and pretending), that you end up thinking the next step is..no you can't even say it nor write it. You don't want to believe it. But actually, what's the point in living this way ? Shivering with the least noise, not being able to talk since you're always gagging, to sleep nor to eat. This is decidely more than fear, or anger, or sadness. This is all in the same time multiply tenfolded.
It doesn't turn you stronger, no. It turns you odious toward other people. Obviously you're now able to put things into perspective, definitely more than ever. Life's becoming just ridiculous, people complaining about nothing. Little do they know what's in your head, little do they know how strong you want to shake them and punch them the hardest you can. This is when you realise how much it's affecting you, you are about to succumb to impulsiveness...If only you could be selfish once in a lifetime, pack your things and just fly away. Start from scratch. This is the only thing you dream about, just being free and not worrying. Before that, your head was full of carrer and love aspiration. Now you just crave for peace and quiet, and that's all. It should be something assured, not something you dream about.
Your future (if there is one) is deeply influenced as well. Hesitating between not trusting anybody, just focusing on work and forget social to be sure you won't fall on the wrong person as she did and on the contrary fighting and trying your best you give people what you didn't have during youth.
You got it ? I'm hitting rock bottom, at the edge of the abyss, everything you can say about helplessness is defining me.
Trust me, if one day you manage to go through it, at the second itself this torture ends, you will be the most gratified person ever.
Unfortunately, this is to end tragically.
Mercredi 21 septembre 2011 à 20:50
It's weird to realise how some moments in your life can change it and leave their mark on you. That's the basis of nostalgia in which I'm currently drawn. Obviously, there are loads of moments like this in a lifetime and you just end-up forgetting it with time, keeping a slight and elusive memory of it with strongless emotions. I'm pretty sure you're not part of them.
It has just been a few weeks since these photographs were taken and in the meantime I feel as if it was yesterday, cause I can still hear your voices next to me, I can perfectly imagine the way you will be laughing at my spanish accent etc. However, I miss you so much that I also feel like it's been ages since I saw you for the last time, since I saw your beautiful smiles, since I've heard your lovely accents and your extremely funny speeches.
Everytime I start remembering scenes from there, nostalgia brought by those photographs, I can feel the tears dashing to my eyes and suddenly held when about to pour like rain on my cheeks. Because, if I start to be overwhelmed by nostalgia, I'm not going to stop, my heart so full of significant and powerful memories.
This sensation is definitely like no other. Everything just seems miles more boring and tasteless without you. Even a mere daily occupation with you filled my heart with delight and with the feeling to belong somewhere. Which I think is the best sensation ever : with you is were I belong.
"Rutina que, sin embargo, también se reserva momentos de felicidad únicos y memorables. Dejarte sorprender por ellos, apreciarlos y disfrutarlos...a la espera del próximo verano."
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